Remember when your child started school? Was that not a wake-up call? Your child becoming a bit independent? Why did you ever wanted to rush through the “terrible two” stage.
Then comes the first Bible camp away from home. The first date with a person you might or might not agree with, all the while trying to keep your mouth shut, but your looks said it all?
Then you have to accept the fact that they have now different plans instead of the weekly family sit-around the coffee table.
Or what about the first driving lessons followed by their very own license and soon after their very own car? What time should they be home, are you going to trust their good judgment?
Family holidays "get-to-gether's" are being disturbed because boyfriends or girlfriends have plans with his/hers family.
Finally the day arrives when they leave the nest either to go to college, travel or getting married, that can be a real shock to a parents system and takes getting used to. Now you are NOT the only family they have. I have seen couples having to give a holiday plan (to be rotated every year) to both sets of parents, because there is a lack of sharing.
When the grandchildren come around this problem might get worse unless both parents accept the fact that the little ones have two sets of grandparents to love.
Now where am I coming from? 16 years ago I had to deal with Paul moving away to follow Jennifer 3000km away from us. We were not at the wedding and not with the birth of the girls. I'd be there as soon as I could though. For them it became too expensive to travel home for the Christmas celebrations. Eventually you get used to that. I have always felt in my heart that they are exactly where God wants them to be, which helped me a great deal to accept the distance. Ted somehow found it a lot easier to accept.
My training was not yet completed because 16 months ago Yvonne and Jason took the girls and all their belongings and moved to Ottawa. Hmm, not so easy, (to be honest, it was terrible!) even though again in my heart I felt it was a good move on their part and not done without a lot of prayer.
Nevertheless, it was a difficult year and you all know I needed to see them quite a few times to get my “fix”.
My last visit to Ottawa taught me something. I could see the maturity in Yvonne and their relationship. I could see the independence in both of them. Also their commitment to serve the Lord and honestly seeking to do His will.
You know what I saw? A family unit working very well ''on their own". It made me very proud and what is more, I was able to leave them without feeling sad and... happy and content to be back home in my own house with my husband.
We as parents HAVE to accept that we become "an extended family" to our children's lives.
When I came to Canada in 1960, yes I missed my family and the traditions for the important days during the year. Until I decided that we had to make our own traditions simply because we had to rely on each other to make it pleasant. So.. for the same token we have to allow our children to do the same. Only God knows how much I love my children, my whole life was wrapped around them even forsaking friends.
As for now, I feel very content being at home with my dear husband. After all, he is the one who needs me. Next week we will be seeing the Parkinson's specialist and he will be having his tests in preparation to see the Oncologist. We are going through this together. As I mentioned before, Parkinson's makes a person feel very "lonely" and it is difficult to explain to others. It means a great deal to Ted that I am just there for him.
Then comes the first Bible camp away from home. The first date with a person you might or might not agree with, all the while trying to keep your mouth shut, but your looks said it all?
Then you have to accept the fact that they have now different plans instead of the weekly family sit-around the coffee table.
Or what about the first driving lessons followed by their very own license and soon after their very own car? What time should they be home, are you going to trust their good judgment?
Family holidays "get-to-gether's" are being disturbed because boyfriends or girlfriends have plans with his/hers family.
Finally the day arrives when they leave the nest either to go to college, travel or getting married, that can be a real shock to a parents system and takes getting used to. Now you are NOT the only family they have. I have seen couples having to give a holiday plan (to be rotated every year) to both sets of parents, because there is a lack of sharing.
When the grandchildren come around this problem might get worse unless both parents accept the fact that the little ones have two sets of grandparents to love.
Now where am I coming from? 16 years ago I had to deal with Paul moving away to follow Jennifer 3000km away from us. We were not at the wedding and not with the birth of the girls. I'd be there as soon as I could though. For them it became too expensive to travel home for the Christmas celebrations. Eventually you get used to that. I have always felt in my heart that they are exactly where God wants them to be, which helped me a great deal to accept the distance. Ted somehow found it a lot easier to accept.
My training was not yet completed because 16 months ago Yvonne and Jason took the girls and all their belongings and moved to Ottawa. Hmm, not so easy, (to be honest, it was terrible!) even though again in my heart I felt it was a good move on their part and not done without a lot of prayer.
Nevertheless, it was a difficult year and you all know I needed to see them quite a few times to get my “fix”.
My last visit to Ottawa taught me something. I could see the maturity in Yvonne and their relationship. I could see the independence in both of them. Also their commitment to serve the Lord and honestly seeking to do His will.
You know what I saw? A family unit working very well ''on their own". It made me very proud and what is more, I was able to leave them without feeling sad and... happy and content to be back home in my own house with my husband.
We as parents HAVE to accept that we become "an extended family" to our children's lives.
When I came to Canada in 1960, yes I missed my family and the traditions for the important days during the year. Until I decided that we had to make our own traditions simply because we had to rely on each other to make it pleasant. So.. for the same token we have to allow our children to do the same. Only God knows how much I love my children, my whole life was wrapped around them even forsaking friends.
As for now, I feel very content being at home with my dear husband. After all, he is the one who needs me. Next week we will be seeing the Parkinson's specialist and he will be having his tests in preparation to see the Oncologist. We are going through this together. As I mentioned before, Parkinson's makes a person feel very "lonely" and it is difficult to explain to others. It means a great deal to Ted that I am just there for him.
In the meantime we are thankful having Ron and Lynne and the kids living close by. We had them over for Dutch pancakes yesterday. I asked him if he could attach the dryer exhaust hose because it kept on falling of. Instead of just doing that he went to the store and bought a galvanized one. The way he put that together is absolutely professional. The old hose, he said, was full of lint, (no wonder it took so long to dry clothes!) What a great son to have around, hahaha!
Lynne is also a sweetheart, we get along so well. So I thank the Lord for them.
Thank you Ron for doing that for us!
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