Continuing A day out of my diary (3)

You will have to read the previous posts

Monday October 14, 1957 

Sick!

It is 8:00 am; I feel as bad as yesterday, may be a little less feverish. I just took another ASA. I don't want to walk all the way to the market, I am so afraid I might faint again (like I did yesterday). I’ll just go to the vegetable store across the street, always more expensive but that can’t be helped today. Nobody else is going to do this for me, sniff, sniff!

 I also question this evening, I just wonder whether I am doing the right thing. It seemed okay at the time. I figured I get the guys into church. Who knows, they might come Sunday mornings as well. I can just imagine the looks I’ll be getting. Never mind that, what about all the comments here at home. I think I am going too fast in my mind. The guys may not even show up.

I need a bit of excitement in my life; it has been rather uninteresting and boring lately. I sure hope I feel better this evening, for Pete’s sake why do these things always happen to me? If I am still sick and he rings the bell, I’ll throw a note out of my window. (Being three stories high, he may have to run to catch it, hahaha! Can you see him go after it?)) “ Sorry I have the flu I am unable to go out. Go around the corner on your left and left again.” What else can I do. I am sick and I could not sit for a few hours. Of course he'll think I made it up!

Right now I am very hot and have a bad headache. May be if I take a cold shower I might feel a lot better. After all, most people die in bed! Hahaha!

I will see how it goes. I had these strange dreams; every person I know appeared in it. I must be a bit delirious from the fever. I'll have to stop writing I just feel so lousy.

7:15 pm Okay, I am dressed and feel somewhat better, except when I bend over I get really, really  dizzy, so I guess I won’t bend over!! Now I do hope that that guy shows up. (I expect only one, I was unable to drum up a friend, actually I did not even try!)). Another half hour, I am so nervous. Nico (my older brother) told me that he had seen Sjaak,(my former boyfriend) which sort of unnerves me, I cannot forget about him. The mere mention of his name freaks me out. It'll be a while before I allow myself to trust another guy again! Therefore, I am going to be very careful this evening.

How is this going to end, cont......